Mushy Emotional Stuff

[rbandrews]

Lately several things that people have said to me recently keep ringing in my ears. Kay told me that I was a very easygoing person (or maybe she said laid-back, I forget). This is a whole new thing for me. I'm used to being the uptight person everyone hates... I guess Kay hasn't known me long enough to develop a decent loathing, or maybe (and this is what I'm hoping), she only met me after I became laid-back, because that implies that I really have started acting differently.
I'm just getting used to not being avoided, I'm just barely starting to be confident that the people who act like my friends when I'm with them still act that way when I'm not. I'm just starting to get used to really believing that people like me. I think this is the happiest I've ever been. Certainly the happiest I've been since I came to Blacksburg.
Not that nothing is going wrong. I'm going to have to move away from my friends soon, and probably too soon to get to know some of them as well as I would like to. Some of my friends are having problems of their own, which are pulling them away from me. And my best friend is about to move away, next month.
Still. I can look at my life today, and it's better than it was a year and a half ago. As bad as I felt then, things did actually get better, no matter how much I refused to believe they would.

Comments

[ranchonmars.livejournal.com]

Since I've known you, you've never seemed uptight to me. When someone says "Ross," I think "Easy going, sense of humor, funny, smart and reliable."

Whatever you were before I met you, if it was really all that bad, you're not that now--at least not as far as I can see.

I am very, very glad you're happy.